Sunday, June 14, 2009


That's right. We're selling Detroit. The entire city. Currently the only offer we have is from the Government, but we're throwing it out there as a last plea. This spacious city was once a hotbed of Americanism, but recently do to greed, corruption and outsourcing has turned a once vital part of the American heritage into a crumbling, vacant city where the mice seemingly run things. Please.

Selling for: A job. Any kind of a job.

The Detroit Camelot

This stylish Detroit castle/house is the best deal in town. Spacious interior, five bedrooms if you put up dividers in the hollow shell residing within the healthy exterior. Solid cardboard walls that seem to be hastily thrown together in a last minute attempt to sell a house. A single note sitting in the bare interior asking the nation why they have forsaken Detroit. Why they have forsaken Michigan. And a roomy garage to fit all the cars that used to be made here.

Selling for: Validation of our existence as a crumbling city or $150.

Weather Aged Rustic House

What a deal we have for you today. Located only minutes from the train tracks that use to carry prosperity to our great city, you can now view the once historical glory of Detroit from the comforts of your own home. This rustic house has the look and feel of the houses from Detroit's glory days. In fact so much it was made during the glory days. It has sense never been taken care of, leaving you plenty of opportunities for custom installations and redesign.

Selling for:
$1.07. Cannot give change.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Spacious Two Bedroom House

This spacious two bedroom house, located 15 minutes from the heart of Detroit, is the perfect place to start a family and own your first house. Perfect for the kids: nearby there's the abandoned School, and even closer a rundown building that used to be a Baskin and Robbins once upon a time when people in Detroit actually could make money.

Selling for: $300 or you can have it if you take us out to lunch. We'll cover the tip.